Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Enough Slacking

Okay, so I had a good talk with Rod about my last blog and feel better in knowing I am not the only one that feels this way. I went to bed thinking of what I was going to do. I needed something to get me back on track with God. Then a thought came to me. I have dedicated my life to God, but have I really..........commited anything? I have stood up and given myself to God, in body, but have I really given myself over fully? No. I came to the conclusion over the last couple of days that after I met my last boyfriend everything I believed in and stood for I put on the back burner. I put his and my needs first and ignored what God wanted for my life. I was too busy trying to make my boyfriend happy and work to get what I wanted that I almost completely shut God out. I would only turn to God when there was something I wanted that I could not do on my own. I was now turning to God only when it was convenient for me. I wanted to have my cake and eat it too. I wanted to believe in God but still have my idea of "fun" as well. I think now that the reason I feel so far from God is because I pushed him away and he is telling me that he will be waiting until I am ready to come back to him. I am now coming back around and realizing I have not but my faith into actions. I think faith without action is not really faith at all. I can say I am a Christian all I want but to be faithful in actions is something I find hard to do. Jesus never just sat around saying "yup I am the son of God.". He went out and talked to people and helped people. He brought people to God. He didn't wait for them to come to him. So as a Christian I feel I need to start living like one, not just say I am. So today I am rededicating my life to the Lord and promise to live the life that God wants me too! I feel very.......good about this. Also I would like to thank those of you that have helped me realize what I needed too do. I love you guys.