Thursday, September 08, 2005

Remember me?

Okay, so I know it has been awhile, but I have had....alot of stuff going on. Besides Creationfest which was awesome, I went to see my family for two weeks. It was nothing special. I just got back from Logan Lake on Monday and am now facing a hard task. You know when you have wanted something for so long and then when you achieve it you find out it is not as good as you thought it would be? I am talking about the guy I am seeing. I have wanted to be more than friends for sooooo long but now that we are.....I wish it was back the way is was. I have made up my mind, I can no longer be with him because he wants something out of me I cannot give him. See,.......after I got back form Creationfest I realized how important God was to me and that I should not let anything get in the way of that. The relationship I had with this guy was doing just that. I called him up and told him how I felt and by that I mean, I told him I was not going to be in a physical relationship with him. I told him that God came first and I wasn't going to put Him aside for a relationship. He said he understood and supported my decision. LIAR. When I got there I again reminded him of my decision and he said, "I will do as you ask but I hope you know it is going to be hard for someone like me."......What does that mean? I then replied if you cared for me you would wait. Yeah well he couldn't do it. I understand it would be hard for him, but he didn't even try. How special am I to him? So that is it I am done. I can't be with someone who can't respect what I believe is right. I love God and He comes above all else.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Only one person can help me with this mess in my head

"On My Own"
By barlow girl.

I can't believe that I"m here in this place again
How did I manage to mess up one more time?
This pattern seems to be the story of my life
Should have learned this lesson by the thousandth time

'Cause I promise myself I wouldn't fall
But here I've fallen
I guess I'm not as strong as I thought
All I can do is cry to You

Oh God You have to save me
You're my last and only hope
All my right answers fail me
I can't seem to make it on my own

I always thought that I would be strong enough
What made all of them fall couldn't take me down
Yeah, did I think that I was above it all
I have learned that pride comes before the fall

I can't promise that I won't fall
'Cause here I've fallen
I know I'm not as strong as I thought
All I can do is cry to You