God I love you, but could you stop making me do things I don't want to do.
So my last blog was about forgiving a certain person. This person hurt me many times but I had been hurt worse. It took almost all I had to reach the point where I could start to forgive this person. For those of you who don't know I dated a couple guys by the same first name. So when this name popped up on a comment I went crazy trying to figure out if it was the one I was writing about. It was not. Instead it was this person I thought I was not ready to forgive. Obviously God thinks different. So since this guy commented on my last blog I have been......one breath away from tears. I will not say what went down while we were together because I am not done telling him and I don't want him to read it here. I want it to come straight from me. I am having a very difficult time with this because what he did is basically why I am the way I am and I do not like the way I am! It is taking me a long time to write this because I have to stop and fight the emotion coming out. I will not let him win. So God wants me to forgive him but I don't know if I can and how? I don't want to go there right now. ARGH.
I am at a loss. Going back to this "time" is not somewhere I am prepared to go, I buried it and was quite fine with it where it was. I don't hate him! I hate what he did to me and I just don't know what to do. I think back and all through my journey this is the biggest thing God has asked me to do and I am soooooo afraid and convinced that I won't be able to do it.
I am at a loss. Going back to this "time" is not somewhere I am prepared to go, I buried it and was quite fine with it where it was. I don't hate him! I hate what he did to me and I just don't know what to do. I think back and all through my journey this is the biggest thing God has asked me to do and I am soooooo afraid and convinced that I won't be able to do it.
posted by Tysey at 7:38 p.m.
8 Comments:
a "couple of guys" with the same first name!!
now now, that isn't quite putting this name into perspective. sure alot of guys have this name. but in highschool, it was kind of an annual thing, wasn't it?
jj :)or am i? LOL
anyhow, now back to my comment.
you are being held back. you obviously cannot progress in life any further until you put it behind you. not putting it in your pocket and dealing with it later.
Forgiving is the only way to let go.
Forgiving doesn't mean letting anyone one win, or getting away with anything. or now saying we can be bestfriends again.
it is a matter of saying I will not let it bug me, I have put the past behind me, and I FORGIVE YOU.
You can do it tysey, I know you can.
It's hard, but it's do-able. I recently realized I was ready to forgive someone from high school, they don't know it and might never, but I feel lighter. I just think of everything God has forgiven and try to lean on him. Your stong Tysey, stronger than you think!!
We don't forgive for the other person's benefit, we do it for our own. To break the bond that the hurt has created. It doesn't excuse them from the consequences of their actions it just acknowleges that we will let God take care of it all. It gives us back our freedom. It is so awesome to see you growing so much Tysey. Love you!
i think when we 'bury' our hurt our hearts are scarred. in order to receive God's healing and be made whole again He sometimes has to reopen the wound. hurts, but the wholeness is worth it.
I bet I know God's answer to your question!!
Tyse it is hard but you can do it. THis person was put ahead of the other person because God thinks that this needs to come first. (That is what I think anyway.) I don't think it was any coinsidence that this happened. God will help you. Remember when you look back and see only one set of footprints it was because He was carrying you.
You are really growing. I am proud of you. YOu are not alone. It's ok to cry let it out.
Love you.
You are a strong woman. That is the way God created you. Any task he has given you, you have had the strength to complete it. He will guide you through this one. Just give all the frustration to him. God will take care of it.
If you need me I am here. Call me, does not matter what time it is. I love you and you are an amazing woman.
you can do anything through the strength of God who strengthens you...
good luck sweetie... shannon
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