Finding Faith
God, give me the faith of a little child!
A faith that will look to Thee -
That never will falter and never fail,
But follow Thee trustingly.
Showerman
I have been thinking a lot about this recently. When I became a Christian my faith never faltered. It was not enough to just go to church on Sunday, I was so hungry for the word and went to bible study every Thursday night. I went to events every Tuesday and Sunday night and I was baptised right after I found God. Now I realize that as the years went on I began to slowly drop things and now I find that my faith is......I don't know. I do know I miss the old me, but how to focus back onto God. I know it will never be like "new" again, but I would like to be more faithful. I know God loves me but I want to show my love for God and I want to give my life to him and I don't believe I am doing that fully yet. I am in this place where I don't know how to get to where I want to be but know that I don't want to be where I am, faith wise. That's why I like this saying because this is what type of faith I pray for.
A faith that will look to Thee -
That never will falter and never fail,
But follow Thee trustingly.
Showerman
I have been thinking a lot about this recently. When I became a Christian my faith never faltered. It was not enough to just go to church on Sunday, I was so hungry for the word and went to bible study every Thursday night. I went to events every Tuesday and Sunday night and I was baptised right after I found God. Now I realize that as the years went on I began to slowly drop things and now I find that my faith is......I don't know. I do know I miss the old me, but how to focus back onto God. I know it will never be like "new" again, but I would like to be more faithful. I know God loves me but I want to show my love for God and I want to give my life to him and I don't believe I am doing that fully yet. I am in this place where I don't know how to get to where I want to be but know that I don't want to be where I am, faith wise. That's why I like this saying because this is what type of faith I pray for.
posted by Tysey at 1:33 a.m.
4 Comments:
good to read you blog, tysey.
I know what you mean.
I read the bible daily, in less then a year finished.
I re-read a bunch, of my more favorite books. but I don't think I have picked up the bible in about 6m.
not that i am not reading other stuff,
like case for the creator,
and case for christ is lined up after that.
but I remember going to vespers, doxa, C&C, plus others.. most my spare time.
I don't think I am losing steam. just losing time.
I think my faith is the same. i am just not as
hungry as I used to be. I feel Numb by comparison.
does that make me a Bloated Christian,
or Anorexic Christian.
MATTHEW 5 (The Message)
3"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
4"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
5"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are--no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.
6"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.
7"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being "carefull,' you find yourselves cared for.
8"You're blessed when you get your inside world--your mind and heart--put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
9"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.
10"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.
11"Not only that--count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. 12You can be glad when that happens--give a cheer, even!-for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.
Maybe I'm strange, but I don't always find a 'crisis of faith' to be a bad thing.
After all, the parable about building a house on the sand wasn't really about construction. It's about the foundation being the most vital thing in any endeavour. Because inevitably, the earthquake will come and shake things up.
Every good philosophy is full of questions. Jesus challenged his followers with questions on a constant basis. He made them examine and think about what they believed, rather than slipping into the complacency of 'that's how it is.'
"Ask and it shall be given." Implicit in this is the idea of asking questions. It never said they had to be in the form of 'I want...' You talk about the faith of a child... what is a child's most common question? "Why?"
Faith isn't believing when things are easy... Sports teams get a lot of fans when they're on top. Faith is believing when sometimes things are against you.
And the nice thing about tests of faith is that even if we fail, there's always the option of a re-write. God never gives up on his children.
Maybe you dropped things simply because you recieved from them what you needed (want and need are quite often two different things). Maybe you've moved past the need for theory and are ready to go into practical application.
I don't claim to have all the answers... or any of them for that matter... in fact, all I can offer is more questions.
But it sounds -- from here, anyway -- like your uncertainty isn't with God, but with yourself. Relax. The only person God expects perfection from is himself (remember, Jesus was not just the 'son of God' but he was a part of God and the Holy Spirit).
Remember... what you see when you look in the mirror, or examine yourself, isn't necessarily what God sees. We have a tendency to focus on the negative and say 'I'm not good enough.' God sees more than that, though.
The Divine Weaver My Life is but a weaving
Between my Lord and me;
I cannot choose the colours
He worketh steadily
Ofttimes He weaveth sorrow
And I in foolish pride,
Forget that He seeth the upper,
And I the underside
Not 'till the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly,
Shall God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
In the Weaver's skillful hand,
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.
(author unknown)
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